The Wild Boys of Bayville
by Red Witch
Summary: In the sequel to 'Viruses are Tricky Things' the boys are bored so they go out on the town in order to torment Kelly and end this story arc once and for all!


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Disclaimer: I don't own anything but insane ideas. This is the sequel to "Viruses are Tricky Things." And the plot line just keeps rolling on…. Final stop. Insanity. 

**The Wild Boys of Bayville**

"How's Tabby doin'?" Fred asked as Lance came downstairs.

"She's out cold," Lance told him. "That little trip to the X-Geeks to get her shot wore her out."

"Well at least she's not blowing stuff up anymore," Todd shrugged and went back to watching television. "Does she still think you're the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz?"

"No," Lance shook his head. "I think that delusion faded by now. She still keeps calling me straw-boy for some reason."

"Where's Pietro?" Fred asked.

"He's still holed up in his room," Lance sat on the couch. "Plotting something big for Kelly but he won't tell me what it is. So what's on?"

"Absolutely nothing," Todd sighed.

"Talk shows," Fred shook his head. "I hate it when there are no good cartoons on. And the good cartoon shows that are on are nothing but repeats!"

"Look at what's on the Jersey Spaniel show," Todd grumbled. "I'm My Own Grandpa! I swear they have to make at least half this stuff up!"

"Yeah some of these look a little too fake for my taste," Lance grumbled.

"Why bother watching this stuff?" Fred said. "We practically live these shows! Picture this: Next on Jersey Spaniel: My Boss Wants to Rule the World! Literally!"

"In our case it's more like My Evil Boss Dumped Me-Fired Henchmen Speak Out!" Todd sighed. 

"How about this one?" Lance smirked. "My Mom's an Evil Blue Shapeshifting Psychotic!"

"Telepath Love Triangles," Fred snickered. 

"Help! My Teacher's a Monster!" Todd laughed.

"Resolving Conflicts Between Mutants with Claws," Lance laughed. 

"My Mind Was Erased and I Want Answers!" Fred laughed.

"Bad Boy Mutants and the Good Girl Mutants who Love Them," Todd nearly fell out of the chair.

"Amphibians Who Can't Get Dates," Lance shot back.

"My Kid Destroyed His School!" Todd shot back. Lance threw a pillow at him.

"When Mutants Attack!" Fred held his sides.

"Here's one," Lance gasped. "Hyper Speed Adrenaline Junkies on the Rampage!"

"I heard that!" Pietro walked into the room. (Yes: walked at normal speed.)

"Aw come on Quickie," Todd snickered. "Don't take it like that yo!"

"It's not that," Pietro folded his arms and sat down in a chair. "I got nothing. Not one single thing to do to Kelly. Well maybe not nothing. So far all I've come up with is glue his furniture to the ceiling, paint his house purple, put his car on the roof, put superglue in his shorts and get him stuck inside the girl's locker room, and steal a lion from the zoo and put it in his office."

"In other words, the same old stuff," Todd said.

"Bingo," Pietro sulked.

"Aw don't worry about it," Lance said. "You'll think of something."

"You're right," Pietro sighed and got up, pacing back and forth. "I'm just so bored! I need a challenge! Creativity! Let's do something! Let's go out on the town! Have some fun! Do some damage!" 

"Pietro," Lance nodded. "That's a great idea! Let's go!"

"What about Tabby?" Todd asked. "You think it's okay to just leave her alone like that? What if a burglar breaks in or something and she's all alone with him?"

"Well then it's the burglar's own fault for breaking in in the first place!" Pietro snapped. "He's just gonna have to fend for himself!" 

"That's true," Todd nodded as they went outside. Soon they were in the jeep headed downtown. "So where to first?"

"Let's get a bite to eat," Lance drove up to Charley's Chicken Shack, a popular fried chicken place.

"I feel like chicken tonight," Fred sang out. "I feel like chicken tonight."

"Here we go again," Lance rolled his eyes.

"I wonder if they have a new security guard?" Todd asked himself.

A man dressed up in a Chucky Chicken Costume was behind the counter. "Welcome to Charley's Chicken! Shack," He said in a voice that was a bit too chipper. "Home of the all you can eat…OH NO! NOT YOU AGAIN?!" 

"I'd told you I'd be back," Fred grinned. 

"Help!" The poor man leapt over the counter in an effort to escape Fred, who promptly proceeded to chase him all over the restaurant. 

"GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!" Chucky Chicken raced around the restaurant, being chased by Fred. No one made a move to help him. Then again there was only one older couple in the restaurant and they actually seemed amused by this.

"Come back Chucky!" Fred called out. "I just wanna be your friend!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME KID I'M JUST A GUY IN A CHICKEN SUIT!" Chucky screamed. "HELP! HE'S GONNA EAT ME!" 

"Good," The elderly man snickered. 

"Best entertainment we've had in weeks," his companion agreed.

While the rest of the staff either watched this spectacle or cowered in the back, Lance and the others took this opportunity to swipe as many full buckets of chicken as they could lay their hands on. Todd of course wisely slimed the security cameras so that they could not be photographed. Pietro ran in back and quickly trashed the tape. 

"Okay Buddy we're out of here!" Lance called out to Fred, who had Chucky in a bear hug.

"Okay," Fred dropped him. "Bye Chucky!" He walked out to a standing ovation from the elderly couple.

"I quit," Chucky moaned from the floor. 

Lance drove around a bit and parked near the park where he had his share of the chicken. "Hmmm," He finished his meal and wiped his hands on stolen napkins. "We ought to eat out more often. Okay what's next?" 

"How about we go to the school and do some decorating?" Pietro smirked.

"Now you're talking!" Lance whooped as they sped off into the night. 

It was quite easy to break into the school. Lance and Fred did their signature squiggles in the hallways. Pietro had his fun in Kelly's office. Todd slimed several lockers of jocks, cheerleaders and X-men. They grabbed several more supplies and took off.

"Boy I can hardly wait until they see what I did to Kelly's office!" Pietro laughed.

"Hey! Let's go to his house and send him off the deep end!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Lance agreed.

"Oh let's stop here first!" Fred pointed to a seedy looking bar. "They have a kareoke machine and great Buffalo wings."

"But I'm underage," Todd whined.

"So am I," Pietro shrugged.

"Don't worry," Fred snickered. "We'll hide you guys under our coats."

"But what if the bouncer objects or something?" Todd asked as they went inside.

Two minutes later the sound of a struggle could be heard. The next minute a huge man with numerous tattoos and bulging biceps was thrown out the door. "What bouncer?" Fred asked.

The bartender was used to dealing with tough customers, but he had a major rule. If anyone could beat the stuffing out of Big Charley, he served him or her. No questions asked. It was a time-honored rule he created three seconds after watching Fred toss Charley out the door. "O-kay," he gulped. "What do you guys want?" 

"I want an ice cream soda!" Fred smiled.

"Make that two!" Todd hopped up and down. He saw a fly nearby and grabbed it with his tongue.

"Three," Pietro shrugged, zipping along, scribbling doodles at super speed. 

"Ice cream sodas all around," Lance said. 

"You gotta be…" The bartender started to say, then he saw Todd eat another fly. They all glared at him. "Four ice cream sodas coming up!"

"And Buffalo wings!" Fred called out. "Plenty of 'em! Extra hot!" 

A small group of bikers watched this. "Hey Stan," One asked. "We gonna let these punks trash our place?"

"You tell 'em to get out," Stan said as he watched Fred bend a stool into a pretzel to pass the time. Not to mention the other members fool around.

"Uh, on second thought it's a free country," He muttered turning his attention back to his drink. 

Meanwhile Lance had found the Kareoke machine. He started singing at the top of his voice as the others chowed down on their wings and ice cream sodas.

"_I'm a wild and an untamed thing!" _Lance sang at the top of his voice. _"I'm a bee with a deadly sting! You get a hit and your mind goes ping! You're heart'll thump and your blood will sing! So let the party and the sounds rock on! We're gonna shake it til the life has gone, gone, gone! Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain!" _

"If it turns out any of those kids are wearing women's underwear I am out of here," One biker turned pale. "Especially the fat one." 

They didn't. But they did end up dancing on the bar table, with the obvious exception of Fred. 

_"We're wild and untamed things! We're a bee with a deadly sting! You get a hit and your mind goes ping! You're heart'll thump and your blood will sing! So let the party and the sounds rock on! We're gonna shake it til the life has gone, gone, gone! Rose tint my world keep me safe from my trouble and pain!" _

The bikers thought it would be a wise thing not to ignore the invitation Fred gave them to join in on the chorus. It was a few hours later before the Brotherhood left and went on to their next destination.

"Wow," Todd smiled. "Those bikers were really nice. And they insisted on paying for our meal!"

"We must go back there again," Pietro nodded. "Right now we have a job to do!"

They parked in front of a large white house. "Are you sure this is where he lives Toad?" Lance asked.

"Not really," Todd scratched his head. "It's been awhile! Maybe we should have asked somebody for directions?"

"Nah, this has gotta be the place," Lance got out of the jeep. "Get the stuff out guys!"

"Oh we are gonna get him good!" Pietro cackled. "Give me the paint!"

"Which one?" Todd asked. "The purple can, the green can, or the yellow can?"

"All of 'em!" Pietro smiled. "Better yet just open 'em up and let me rip!" Pietro dipped a couple of brushes in two cans and took off. In a matter of minutes, Pietro had covered the entire house in purple, green and yellow spots. "Ta da!" 

"Not bad," Todd nodded. "But I think it's missing something. May I?"

"Be my guest," Pietro bowed and with a flourish let Todd do his thing. He hopped around and slimed all the doors of the house. Then he slimed the windows and the walkway. "What do you think?"

"Better," Lance nodded. "But Freddy and I still need to put more finishing touches on it. Got the toilet paper and the flamingoes?"

"Yup," Fred nodded.

"May we help you?" Pietro smirked.

"Knock yourself out!" Fred smiled. Soon the trees and shrubs were covered with toilet paper and there were over a hundred plastic flamingoes on the lawn. "You know I think there's one more thing we need to do. The inside of this car looks kind of shabby. Maybe a new paint job?" 

"I'm way ahead of you," Pietro brandished the paintbrush. "I have plenty of green left over." He got to work.

"Hey I got a great idea," Lance took out some fireworks. "Let's give him a nice wake up call shall we?" 

"I even have some music for the occasion," Todd picked up a tape recorder he 'borrowed' from the school.

"Let's rock," Lance snickered. Soon they set up their invention. "Now, ready…" he lit the fuse to his creation. "Now!" 

Lance used his powers to create a small earthquake, waking up the inhabitants of the house. The next thing they knew they were seeing pinwheel fireworks spinning around and around amid hundreds of pink flamingoes. The sound of the Mexican Hat Dance and other Mariachi music blared loudly. The boys wished they could see the looks on the faces of the people, having wisely taken refuge on top of a hill where they could witness the action. 

"Oh it looks so festive from up here!" Pietro laughed. "That'll get that gas bag!"

"Come on guys," Lance told them. "It's late. We gotta go to school tomorrow and see his face." 

The next day they managed to stumble into the school cafeteria before homeroom. 

"Man am I wiped," Todd grumbled. "Good thing I have history first period. I can sleep in there."

"Doesn't she get mad?" Pietro asked yawning. 

"Nah, as long as I don't disrupt class she don't care what I do," Todd scratched his head. "Man last night was wild!"

"And it's about to get wilder," Pietro snickered as they saw Principal Kelly walk into the cafeteria. 

"Okay!" He shouted. "If anyone knows how my furniture ended up glued to the ceiling now is the time to tell me about it!" 

"Forget that!" Mr. Snaps, the new gym teacher stormed in. "Somebody trashed my house last night! And that's not the worst of it!" he turned around. His back was green. The entire cafeteria erupted in laughter. 

"Oops," Todd gulped.

"Oh my," Pietro blinked.

"Oh man," Fred whispered. "We hit the wrong house!"

"Figures," Lance muttered under his breath. 

"I told you we should have asked for directions!" Todd hissed. 

"THESE KIDS ARE ANIMALS!" Mr. Snaps screamed. "ANIMALS!"

"What makes you think kids did it?" One teacher asked.

"WHO ELSE WOULD DO IT?" Mr. Snaps screamed. He grabbed some food and started flinging it at the kids in the cafeteria. Several other teachers tried to restrain him, but he broke away and ran around laughing insanely. 

Principal Kelly looked at the insane teacher running amok in the cafeteria. "Isn't this where I came in?" 

"Well looks like another dull day at Bayville High guys," Lance sighed. "So Toad, hear any new gossip?" 


End file.
